A needle every day??

So we went to our group education session today... it honestly feels so good to have everything started. Brody and i prayed together before going in and we both felt excited about everything coming up. I was kind of surprised to see we were significantly younger than all the other couples... but everyone was in the same boat and it was, in some small way, comforting to know we werent alone. The nurse doing the seminar was great. She was very understanding in the way she talked about things but she was very to the point which was great.
There was a lot of information and things to expect and it was a lot to take in... and i dont remember a lot of it (thank goodness they will go over in detail what we are to do during each step). One thing that definitely stood out to me was that Brody will have to give me a needle every day! Probably for 2 weeks. The medications intimidate me a little bit but the idea of this working keeps me positive. .. sort of....
I left feeling very weird. Not upset. Not excited. Just weird. I didnt feel like talking but mostly because I had no words to verbalize what i was feeling. We have about a week until everything starts and I guess I just want to get the ball rolling. It will be about a 10 week process (which was longer than we expected) and it will be so hard to wonder the whole time if it will work. BUT I will stay positive!! I WILL :)
Tonight I just pretty much hung out on the couch. Brody made a fantastic chili and we didnt talk too much about the situation. We just enjoyed each others company and it made me feel so much better :) I am so excited for us to be parents!!
One day at a time....

Here we go...

Well Brody and I have talked a lot about maybe starting a blog... just to get my thoughts down as we go through what will no doubt be the biggest emotional roller-coaster of our lives. On thursday we go to our 'group information session' where we will meet with some nurses who will be a part of the process and we will also meet some other families going through the same thing we are. As the new year begins i have decided that the things that will get me through this whole process are Faith, Hope and Love.
My faith, though shaky at times, is a constant that i cant deny. No matter how i feel God loves me and knows me. He knows my heart's desires and He holds me in His hand. He cares intimately about my pain. I dont understand why we're going through this but He does and He loves me. That is what i want to remind myself every day. He loves me. He loves Brody. And He loves the child or children that will one day be in our lives.
Hope. This has probably been the hardest of the three for me lately... I used to just assume i would be a mom and things would go to 'plan'. When that assumption was proven wrong it was as if all my hopes were shattered. My biggest fear had come true and i have been so scared to hope again. But no matter what happens i will hope. I will hope that this process works. If it doesnt, I will hope that the next option to us does. I will hope until I have a child... and i will praise God for the hope that I have in Him.
Love. "And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." 1 Corinthians 13:13 I want this blog to be a love story. A story of how Brody and I love our way through hard times and love our way through wonderful times and eventually have a child with whom to share that love. This whole process has been far from easy on us... we have struggled to find ways to support each other and have often failed to do so. We are so different. In some ways we started growing apart when we found out but we have since come together in a way that only God could enable us to do. Our love is so strong and we are more in love than ever now. We have so much love to give and we are so excited for this next chapter...
So as i look ahead i am excited. i am anxious. i am scared and
                                                 i am hopeful.